"Love Thy Neighbor"
In case you missed it...
I wrote for the Free Press about my experience as a lifelong leftist who moved to Trump country, determined not to interact with my conservative neighbors. It took several years, but my neighbors, my farm, and life in general wore me down. I stopped hating them. I’m grateful for this fact; it’s one of the best things about our move from city to farm. If you missed the piece, here it is.
Coincidentally, on the same day the Free Press ran the piece, I began hosting a family on my farm that exemplifies so much of what I was writing about. The family was from Brooklyn. Two parents, two grandparents, and two kids. The dad was black, a former Marine, and Gen-X, like me. (“We grew up in the Goldilocks era,” he told me, meaning our take on race and sex politics were just right.) The mom and grandparents were maybe Hispanic, born and raised in Brooklyn.
This was such a cool family. They were curious about everything on the farm, eager to help, just lovely in every way. The grandfather told me about the tomatoes and other vegetables he grew for years on on his rooftop in Brooklyn with a homemade irrigation system. (Me: “How’d you learn how to do that? Were your parents into gardening?” Him: “Nah. It was just me. I read a lot.”)
Right away, as we drifted around the farm doing chores and chatting, the election came up. It turned out the Marine dad was a Republican. The mom was a Democrat. And the grandfather? He was a lifelong hardcore Dem. “Never voted once for a Republican,” he said proudly. And yet, here they were on a weekend together, warm and loving. Sure, there was a bit of eye-rolling and gentle prodding between the dad and the father-in-law, but they could talk about things and still enjoy being together. It was incredible.
We need more of this. If we really believe in free and fair elections, we have to be free within our own families and among friends to have our own political opinions. It’s not a free election or even a free society if breaking off from your tribe’s voting record means ex-communication.
The Free Press article was retweeted, shared, commented on and liked by so many. I found this so heartening, but it’s depressing how many stories I’ve heard in the last 36 hours in response, about people being pilloried or exiled from their communities for putting up the wrong lawn sign or for voting differently than mandated by their group. We are more than the vote we cast.
Hold it together, everyone!
I just flew from NY to Chicago. In line boarding the plane with me was a guy from outside of Chicago. Straight up Trumper - told me so early on, and I told him I’m a local Democratic committeeman. We talked about politicians, rather than politics. We talked about how politics and power easily corrupts even the most noble minded. It’s so hard not to get seduced by it all. He told me he spent 10 years in the military, some in combat, and that the most important thing is that we have the freedom to vote and that our votes be counted. He said didn’t ask people or even want to hear how they voted. Super high integrity. Then we switched to talking about families and kids and other stuff.
It was such a normal, polite conversation. In the run-up to the election, so refreshing. Immediately made me think about this article, which I had recently read. Before we’re red or blue, we’re family and friends, neighbors and colleagues and such. We forget that at our peril.
I have been through many eras and elections but never- never has the division and outright anger been so intense that families and friends can’t even talk to each other. I enjoyed your post and the follow with this family. Thank you